Mormon History, Oct 11, 1845

[Hosea Stout Diary] Saturday Octr 11th 1845. I was awake this morning about one hour by sun by my clerk who had agreed to meet me at that time and assist me in writing my journal while I had to secrete myself.About half past ten A. M. we came to the place where I released him from on the morning of the 29th of September & from that time to this I had kept notes myself so I released him and sent him away that he might learn and send me word what was going on and I amused my self to the best advantage and also wrote in my journal untill 12 when Weeks came home and informed me that all was well as yet but that General Rich Said for me to lay low & keep dark.In my seclusion from the public gaze & the Society of my fellow soldiers whom it was my lot to lead on to fight the battles of the Lord in case of an attack my mind was wrapped up in the contemplation of the future destany of the House of Israel, and I asked my Self why this seclusion of myself from the knowledge of even my f
riends who knew not where
I was, in an hour when it seemed I was actually needed to head the armies of Israel.When an army of Saints were met together to Supplicate the Lord our God for deliverance would they not ask one another where is our general who was always with us & why is he not here to strengthen us as in former times.I reflected upon it and beheld that the Safety and welfare of this people demanded it for should our enemies come in as we expected & find me and some others whom they also hated they would we expected arrest us & take us to Carthage as is usual and to Suffer us to be taken away the Saints were determined not to suffer hence it would lead to a resistance of what they would term law.and this would bring down the indignation of a government upon us who delights in Shedding the blood of prophets and cause many of the Saints to be Slain and the residue driven out into the wilderness.I thought of the tender ties of nature at home of my little ones who pra
ttle round me in childish
loveliness when I come in but now they know not where I am or what will be my destiny before we see each other again.I thought how I have So often seen the Prophet Joseph hide from his enemies when our Safety demanded it.I thought how they also took him through treachery and slew him and Said is this my fate, am I to be also torn from every thing that is Sacred as he was and treacherously Slain and Said to my self that I would not give my self up Save it was to redeem my people and Should they attempt to arrest me I felt determined to Sell my life life as dear as I could and try and convince our enemies that the blook [blood] of the Saints was not as easily Shed as was our Prophets & Patriarch
I felt that I had served my maker as well as I knew and was willing to hide and wait the full time of the Lord But in the event of a battle I was resolved to come forth as a lion from his thicket and roar upon our enemies as did the People of God always and
trust to him for the resultSo I am composed and as yet fear no evil
This passed away the day in the evening Br. Langley & my Brother came in and saw me and said all was well as yetjust after dark we took Supper & Langley went with me to Genl Richs to see if he had any intelligence for me; but he was not at home.So we came to my house my folks were all well & in good Spirits.After Staying awhile with them we returned to Genl Richs again who had not come home yetLangley then went home & I to my hiding place again at about nine or ten oclockNothing of importance happened till morning.

[Diaries of Hosea Stout]
[source: Diaries of Hosea Stout]